The Harbinger

Sam’s Roast Corner: Lighting a Fire Under Show Choir *

By Sam Shipe, Opinion Editor

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The show choirs at ZCHS seem to hold themselves just a bit *cough* *cough* very much above everyone else. What gives them this entitlement? How do they justify their pretentiousness? They complain nonstop for having to balance school work and daily life with all those gosh-darned practices. Well, guess what kids? You signed up for it. So quit with your whining; you get no sympathy. Do you really think that just because you get to travel to a few schools almost never more than an hour away you somehow deserve to carry yourselves that way? Hey, Royals, I’m sorry, but ‘Grand Champions’? Do we really want to say that given this year’s record? Oh, is that a sore spot? Well, deal with it. Let’s be glad you somehow won while acting like stupid hicks (provided Center Grove didn’t show up). What’s more: you’re all cliques. You always hear about the Royals Fam, but take one step in and there’s nothing more than some cliques and the ones sitting quietly waiting for class to start.

As for you, Chorals, there isn’t much I can say about you that I didn’t say about the Royals except that you managed to pull out an extra win, so congrats. However, your competition show was so preachy I thought I was a part of some cult meeting’s initiation into the ranks of womankind. You all try to act like its just one big happy family, but you really aren’t fooling anyone. So many of you cannot possibly be that genuine. Especially because we all knew you before Chorals, so you aren’t fooling anyone. You try to act like Disney princesses one second and the next you try acting like you’re edgy punks that would fight anyone. Pick a side, because switching does not suit you, especially when you know how fake you have to act one way or the other.

This was supposed to be about the attitudes carried by the members of our show choirs, but, hey, I got a little carried away. Accept this as a warning. These roasts were rather mild. To those seniors, drop that attitude going into finale, and to the underclassmen, drop it for the rest of your time here. Believe it or not, your title means something, and instead of respect in the school, you spark jokes and negative connotations, and all a fire needs is a spark. Don’t spark this fire again or you’ll be roasted to charcoal.

*This article and it’s contents are satire and made in jest. This is not meant to offend but to entertain.

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